enough.

Lately, I have been a little obsessed with looking in the mirror.   It is getting kind of ridiculous, and is taking up way too much of my life.  Usually, it is to make sure I don't look tubby, or that my booty doesn't look too big, or that I don't have peanut butter smudged across the front of my shirt.  While one of the three are valid reasons to check the mirror before you head out the door, I think that we can all agree that the other two can be a deadly combination.  My obsessive mirror checking is usually followed by a demand of Joe's full attention to ask how I look.  He always answers positively, which annoys me and forces the follow up question, "Do I look fat?".   Like the genius that he is, his response is ALWAYS no.  ALWAYS.  (He has his Masters Degree, people.)  He only seems slightly annoyed that I have asked him these two questions every day for AT LEAST four years (read: eight years), so mad props to him.  However, it is now to the point that I am actually over it myself.  So, TODAY friends, I am making a change.  For TODAY, I wrote this on my mirror:

Why this word? I have my reasons, and the first is to stop the madness.  I am declaring to myself that ENOUGH IS ENOUGH. That's right, enough is enough, Tiffany Graham.  How many times a day must you look at every angle of your ass?  Why must you obsess over your chubby knees?!  Are chubby knees an actual thing?  And if they are, why do you CARE so much?  And your stomach.  STOP IT with the stomach.  You had two babies.  You're older.  You're doing the best you can.  GET OVER YOURSELF.  ENOUGH IS ENOUGH.

Here's the second reason:  I wrote it on my mirror to remind myself that I am enough.  I am enough.  I AM ENOUGH.  I wonder what would happen if I actually lived into this statement?  What would my days look like?  How would I treat myself?  What if, instead of looking in the mirror to find every little flaw, I looked in the mirror knowing that I was enough?  What if I looked into the mirror to remind myself that I am a beloved Child of God, that the Creator of the Universe thinks I'm worth dying for, and so that MUST mean that I am enough?

Instead of seeing a body that could tone up, I want to look at myself and remember that I am a good wife, a loving mother, a caring friend, a faithful daughter & sister.  I want to look at my laugh lines and remember that I am happy, that I am funny, and that I know how to have a good time.  When I feel a little flabby, I want to remind myself that I carried two babies, and that while my body might not look how it did when I was 20, I feel SO loved and valued.  (I was TOTALLY TOO SKINNY then anyway. ;))  I am smart, I am kind, I am sassy, I am loud, I am passionate, I am loving and thoughtful. And I will still be all of those things even if my pants are a little tight.  I AM ENOUGH.

I'm going to try to stop with all of this mirror obsessing.  Or maybe, I'm going to stop with all of the NEGATIVE mirror obsessing.  Maybe now when I look in the mirror, I'll say "Damn, girl!  You look GOOD!  Being enough looks fab on you!"  And then I will talk to my mirror about how I got my cute shirt on clearance at TJ Maxx, and then Joe will get annoyed because I'm still spending a lot of time in front of the mirror, but now I'm just cocky and weirdly talking to myself.  But still, no shady Tiff talk!  All good vibes, baby!  ENOUGH, ENOUGH, ENOUGH.  This is going to be strange and fun, and could possibly drive my husband to drink... So of course I shall do it.

What about you? Do you know that you're enough?  Because YOU ARE ENOUGH.  I know this because I am very smart, and that makes it true, so you must believe me.  (Have I mentioned that I am also a little bossy?)  How would you live if you believed that you were enough? Would you do something you never thought possible?  Step out and take a risk.  Ask for support and see what happens.  You don't have to be alone... We can walk through this together.    

So, wear that dress, girl... and I mean WEAR IT.  You are enough for that Dress.  Stand up for yourself.  You are enough and deserve to be treated with respect.  Apply for that job that you think might be out of your league.  Don't let that boy break your heart again.  YOU ARE ENOUGH.  You don't need him to make you complete.  Don't let him steal your joy, your worth, your heart.  Let yourself be loved.  Run that race.  It will be hard, but you can do it.  You are enough, so take care of your temple.  Whatever it is, it is worth a try.  Let's do this.  Let's believe we are enough and do this together.